Il-Dolce far niente – is it for everyone?

Just arrived back from a weekend in my loving Sicily! Always a success!

We had a family function so needed to go up for the Saturday night but we obviously extended that a bit and travelled from Thursday night till Monday morning. We stayed at friends but being that they were very busy preparing for the event we decided it’s best if we spent as much time out and about than actually on the premises.

  

So, Friday after having a lovely, naturally bio breakfast we allowed the kids a quick dip in the pool and then we headed to go visit a place we had heard of as being a lovely place to stay. Check out our review of Piano Grillo Farm.

  

We found this old restaurant which many people had suggested us to go to El Majole in Chiaromonte Gulfi and had lunch there. After we visited the Farm and got to know the owner a bit better.

After we headed to Ragusa to do our grocery shopping for the rest of the weekend. Before we knew it, it was time to head back, feed the kids and bang the first day was over!

We stopped on our way to Marzamemi as we went over train tracks and Andrew had never seen them.

2nd day we headed to Marzamemi, a delightful little fishing village with the charm of Mdina. We spent a lovely morning going on the beach and then walking around the streets of this little village.

We then chose one of the many restaurants that are there, we chose it because it was one of the few (may be even the only one) that served a burger, Jamie was not in the mood for fish! We were the first to be served at this restaurant and the last ones to leave! We got to know Agatha, one of the owners and also the waiter and chef…lovely check out what we thought here. It was time to head back as we wanted to have a little nap before the event that evening.

The Saturday evening event was special for all those present. We had to stay up late! So, the next day all we felt like doing is relaxing by the pool.

That was what I thought was best to do, little did I know how my guilt started climbing up the ladder for me! The guilt of doing nothing….has this ever happened to you? I have just realised now, how every time I have a relaxing holiday around a pool or just chilling somewhere I can’t stay longer than a morning. When I look back at all the holidays I have been on, I realise I have always had this feeling of guilt! Guilt of wasting time doing nothing! Guilt of wasting money doing nothing new and adventurous! Guilt of showing my kids nothing cultural! The guilt that I have not yet posted something online yet! And the list goes on…

I can, sort of, understand the guilt when I don’t fill every minute of the day with something “productive” when I am at home like: Paying a bill, washing the dishes, doing the kids’ lunches etc. but when I strive to even get rid of the guilt on a holiday, there is something not right! I blame this feeling on the word “SHOULD”. We all try to be a better mum, a better partner, a better person and to evaluate how better we want to be we compare to others and on what society says we SHOULD do.

Couldn’t stay still doing nothing so decided to do some gardening for the owners of the place.

It’s not easy going from an always on switch to a pause! I think my switch would be a “stand by”. When I am not on holiday, I am always on the go. If I give myself a break it’s because I finished all my tasks of the day and deserve a coffee but even that is done with an intention of doing something – be it meeting a friend and catching up or just blogging on the internet. Rarely, come to think of it never, would you catch me just idling the time away! But, I always pray that the holidays arrive so that I can do nothing! I realised that it is harder than I thought.

I need more lavendar in my life to relax!

After doing some research I realised that I am not alone and although we can blame it all on society or globalisation it is all coming from our own sense of worth. It seems that if we don’t do anything valuable in our day then there is no satisfaction. I think I need to learn the value of relaxing, I need to believe that I have worked hard to earn this time to do nothing. Sitting on a deckchair, reading a magazine or just laughing at my kids playing has a worth, it is very valuable. So, I wrote down a few pointers for my next holiday, things that I think will help me (and you if you are like me) to not feel guilty next time around. If you have any ideas to give me I would be more than willing to try them out!

  1. Write down what my holiday is for.

What are the aims of my holiday? If I actually feel the need to relax prior to the holiday then there is a high probability I deserve to be idle.

  1. When I do feel guilty, I ask myself who is saying so?

Is society saying I shouldn’t be doing this? Is it my mother? If it is my belief then I must do something about it but if it’s someone else’s belief I must let it loose.

  1. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

If I do let go and be idle or indulge in whatever is making me feel guilty, what are the consequences? Can I handle that? If, the consequences are something I can handle then I can go ahead and do whatever is making me feel guilty.

So, in the end my Sicily weekend was supposed to be a weekend to spend with old friends and take a good break from routine. Did I achieve my goals? I sure did! Yes, I deserved to be idle as I had been working non-stop! Yes, I deserved to just sit down and look at my kids having a whale of a time – happiness is a value worth working for. Cheers to all those that know how to sit by a pool and not feel guilty! I will make it happen next time!

Leave any comments if you have had guilt trips on your holidays! Remember sharing is caring!

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